Dad, I'm On The Red River: Fathers and Menstruation

 As all of us probably know, it's awkward, uncomfortable, and downright scary to talk to your father about periods. However, your dad loves you and wants to help you. He'll probably be happy to help if you need it.

That still doesn't eliminate the awkward-uncomfortable-scary part. Today, I had a tense conversation with my father so that I could write a post on this. And guess what? It wasn't that bad.

To start, your dad loves you. He wants to help his not-so-little child in any way he can. While he probably finds the topic of menstruation awkward, he'll also probably be okay if you wanted to discuss it. When I first asked my dad to have a chat with me about periods, he was a little put-off at first, but soon into the conversation we both relaxed. I asked him some questions, which he happily answered (thank you, Papa!), and supplied most of the content of this post.

So, why is this such a horrible topic? What makes talking to your dad about it so embarrassing? Well, think about this. When our fathers were growing up, things like menstruation, sex, pregnancy - all those things were taboo. Menstruation was a woman thing. It was intimate and private. Talking about it was a BIG no-no. In this day and age we're slowly becoming more open and recognizing it as a human thing instead of a female thing, but it still carries over into our dads, who grew up looking at it as something you didn't talk about.

Another thing to think about is the fact that menstruation means physical maturity. It's a sign that Dad's baby is growing up into a person. He's both sad and proud. It also means that you can officially get pregnant. On top of normal worries, your dad now has to worry about that.

What if you're alone with your dad and you're out of tampons or pads? How should you tell your dad about this? Essentially, your father wants you to be comfortable talking to him about anything. Of course, this is rarely the case or else I wouldn't be writing this post.

Here's a personal story. I got my period for the first time in a library at evening. I didn't know that's what it was; I felt a little wet and thought it was just vaginal fluid. I went home and found that my mother had gone out someplace. I then went to the bathroom to find that there was this HUGE, shiny stain in my panties. I freaked out. It was just me and my dad home - what could I do? The obvious choice was to tell my dad that I'd gotten my period so that he could help me. I looked at that choice and said NOPE NOT HAPPENING IN A THOUSAND YEARS. I mean, what would I say to him? I wiped up as best I could with toilet paper and went to bed that night with nothing on at all, feeling wet all night long. Why? Because I was too scared to ask my dad for help.

A few years later, I now know that my dad would have been happy to help me. And I know that yours will too. So, back to the question: What if you need to ask your dad for help? My dad answered the question with this: Be frank. Don't beat around the bush, don't use a bunch of period slang, just tell him outright: "I'm on my period and I need tampons." (I've actually heard of someone telling their dad: "I'm on the Red River and I need more floaties.") Be blunt and tell him exactly what you need.

But wait, what if it's someone else's dad? Awkward! But the same rules apply. If he has a child who has gotten their period, or even just a wife, he'll probably understand. Be polite and state precisely what it is you need from him, else you risk him not understanding your slang, which will make things all the more awkward.

In all situations, your best bet is to be absolutely frank. Leaking? Tell your dad outright and he'll probably do his best to help you clean up, or he'll find a trustworthy woman to help. Leaking and with someone else's dad? He might be able to find a change of clothes from his own child or find his wife to help you.

Finally, my father says to other fathers to be as open as you can. The same applies to us PEs. If you're open with your father this will help strengthen your relationship with him and make situations involving periods a little less uncomfortable.

 

Do you have any dad-related period stories? Share them in the comments!

Many thanks to my beloved Papa for enduring awkward questions and being a great dad.