A Personal Period Story - But Not Necessarily A Horror Story

Yesterday was the day of killer cramps for me. I was okay until about midday, when the cramps hit me hard while I was trying to clean my room. At first I was okay with walking around holding a heatbag to my stomach, but just after my mum left to do some errands they became unbearable.
I laid down on my bed and rolled around a bit painfully while my cats watched me with confusion. I started chanting tongue-twisters to take my mind off the cramps. When they failed, I started on poems from Doctor Who, and once I'd used them up I started yelling Linkin Park songs at the top of my lungs. ("I-TRIED-SO-HARD-AND-GOT-SO-FAR-BUT-IN-THE-END - !") Soon, I ran out of songs that I could remember the lyrics to. My mum came home to find me in tears, halfheartedly muttering, "I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it ... away ..." (So fitting.)
She sat down and made jokes about my kitten and tried to encourage me to get up and do some exercise, as that always helps me, but I was certain it wouldn't help now. Dead certain. I clung to my heatbag while she added that exercise had helped me every single time I'd ever cramped. My dad came home and tried to convince me to get up and move around. I ignored him, too.
Finally, I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I made my mum promise that getting out and moving would help, and I crawled out of bed.
After a minute of discussion, my parents decided to drive me up the mountain near our house to see the sunset from the lookout. My dad pulled up Youtube music on his phone, music that we could all sing along and jam too. We jammed, even me, and I ignored the cramps as best I good.
We got to the top just as the sun was setting. My mum ran me to the edge of the lookout and we watched the last wisps of sun set. We waved at the people belong, knowing that they couldn't see us. Then we decided it was too cold to stand outside any longer and ran back to the car.
On the way back down, my dad picked out all the fun dubstep songs on his phone, and mum held back all her hatred for those songs (not a dubstep fan, let me tell you) until we got to the bottom of the mountain, where she made us turn them off.
But that was okay, cause them she bought everyone ice cream. I ate my ice cream slowly; I felt very tired. The cramps were just about gone, though they still lingered annoyingly.
As soon as we got home, my mum gave me this official prescription: "Go curl up in bed and watch Sherlock. Doctor's orders."
So I put the last of my ice cream in the fridge, curled up, grabbed my computer and turned on Sherlock. Soon, the feels were too much - the cramps just had to go. After one episode I was feeling well enough to watch Gilmore Girls with the family during dinner. The cramps hung around in the background like they wished to come back but they didn't.
After dinner, I curled up with my cat for a little while and that was it for the cramps. No! they yelled. You're too happy! You need to be crying and thinking about us! And then they were whisked away by the sound of my cat purring. I felt fine the rest of the evening and I'm doing just as well today.

I knew I had awesome parents before this, but now, well, I don't know what to say. Thanks Mama and Papa :)
And so that this post isn't just a really long cramps story, next time you're cramping, try getting out of the house. Even if you feel like you could never ever do that. And if that doesn't work or you can't bring yourself to do it, Sherlock/Doctor Who/[Insert Fandom Show Here] will probably help.

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Dad, I'm On The Red River: Fathers and Menstruation

 As all of us probably know, it's awkward, uncomfortable, and downright scary to talk to your father about periods. However, your dad loves you and wants to help you. He'll probably be happy to help if you need it.

That still doesn't eliminate the awkward-uncomfortable-scary part. Today, I had a tense conversation with my father so that I could write a post on this. And guess what? It wasn't that bad.

To start, your dad loves you. He wants to help his not-so-little child in any way he can. While he probably finds the topic of menstruation awkward, he'll also probably be okay if you wanted to discuss it. When I first asked my dad to have a chat with me about periods, he was a little put-off at first, but soon into the conversation we both relaxed. I asked him some questions, which he happily answered (thank you, Papa!), and supplied most of the content of this post.

So, why is this such a horrible topic? What makes talking to your dad about it so embarrassing? Well, think about this. When our fathers were growing up, things like menstruation, sex, pregnancy - all those things were taboo. Menstruation was a woman thing. It was intimate and private. Talking about it was a BIG no-no. In this day and age we're slowly becoming more open and recognizing it as a human thing instead of a female thing, but it still carries over into our dads, who grew up looking at it as something you didn't talk about.

Another thing to think about is the fact that menstruation means physical maturity. It's a sign that Dad's baby is growing up into a person. He's both sad and proud. It also means that you can officially get pregnant. On top of normal worries, your dad now has to worry about that.

What if you're alone with your dad and you're out of tampons or pads? How should you tell your dad about this? Essentially, your father wants you to be comfortable talking to him about anything. Of course, this is rarely the case or else I wouldn't be writing this post.

Here's a personal story. I got my period for the first time in a library at evening. I didn't know that's what it was; I felt a little wet and thought it was just vaginal fluid. I went home and found that my mother had gone out someplace. I then went to the bathroom to find that there was this HUGE, shiny stain in my panties. I freaked out. It was just me and my dad home - what could I do? The obvious choice was to tell my dad that I'd gotten my period so that he could help me. I looked at that choice and said NOPE NOT HAPPENING IN A THOUSAND YEARS. I mean, what would I say to him? I wiped up as best I could with toilet paper and went to bed that night with nothing on at all, feeling wet all night long. Why? Because I was too scared to ask my dad for help.

A few years later, I now know that my dad would have been happy to help me. And I know that yours will too. So, back to the question: What if you need to ask your dad for help? My dad answered the question with this: Be frank. Don't beat around the bush, don't use a bunch of period slang, just tell him outright: "I'm on my period and I need tampons." (I've actually heard of someone telling their dad: "I'm on the Red River and I need more floaties.") Be blunt and tell him exactly what you need.

But wait, what if it's someone else's dad? Awkward! But the same rules apply. If he has a child who has gotten their period, or even just a wife, he'll probably understand. Be polite and state precisely what it is you need from him, else you risk him not understanding your slang, which will make things all the more awkward.

In all situations, your best bet is to be absolutely frank. Leaking? Tell your dad outright and he'll probably do his best to help you clean up, or he'll find a trustworthy woman to help. Leaking and with someone else's dad? He might be able to find a change of clothes from his own child or find his wife to help you.

Finally, my father says to other fathers to be as open as you can. The same applies to us PEs. If you're open with your father this will help strengthen your relationship with him and make situations involving periods a little less uncomfortable.

 

Do you have any dad-related period stories? Share them in the comments!

Many thanks to my beloved Papa for enduring awkward questions and being a great dad.

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